whats the stupidist thing a police officer has ever said to you?

[Febrile]

got pulled over for a rbt and was eating kfc.... i asked him if i could have a sip of my drink first and he goes, sure dont want you to choke the chicken..... hyuk...... i think to be a cop in bundy you have to pass a lame test or something.......

You should have replied "No, but with a line like that, there's a strong chance I'm going to choke ON the chicken!"

 

[SSJ4Hawk]

well it hasnt happened to me yet???

but one of  my friends was out driving and he got pulled over by a cop

he said: whats wrong
cop: just checking to see if i can defect you for rust

another time a mate got pulled over for noise pollution he has just outfitted the boot with 2 12" subs and fully carpetted the boot

mate: is there anything wrong
cop: can i see your trunk
mate: sure
cop: how do you get to the spare tyre
mate: ill show you (pulls all the carpet and subs out)
cop: no shit good work off you go then

[Bluprint]

Cut & paste from the same topic over at SAU that I posted yonks ago.....always makes me laugh still...ahh memories

I once had a cop that was directing traffic past an accident get me to stop right in the middle of the road (and hold up the already considerable buildup of traffic behind me), to tell me that my headlights weren't on, just the parkers (it was about 8:30pm). I'm like 'wtf', I check my headlights are on, yep they're on. I say to the cop "Nah, they're on", and he goes "No you don't understand. Just your parking lights are on" (he gets real ****y at this stage), and 'invites me' to step out of the car and see for myself. I jump out, embarassed to all hell because of all the traffic behind my car, walk around to the front of my car to discover that my headlights are indeed on, and the cop has mistaken the headlights for parking lights. This is because my R31 has projector hedlights, and as you all most likely know, the projector low beams are those small ball globes. So after I've discovered that this cop is a n00b, I go 'no no, they're the headlights, and next to them are the parkers', walk round to the driver's door window and flick the lights back to the real parkers, then back to headlights again.

At that point he got visibly upset that he'd made such a funny mistake, and held up all that traffic (who were starting to get rather rowdy), and said to me "How can you have lights that small on your car? They can't be legal!" I'm thinking to myself that there's no way in hell he can defect me.....
Fortunately for me, another cop standing a couple of metres away had been listening, thought that the traffic buildup was getting to be just too much & walked over to the first cop & told him to just forget about it, the lights obviously do the job, otherwise they wouldn't be on the car'.
And so they (finally) let me go, and had to deal with the traffic jam behind me, that was their own bloody fault 

I distinctly remember thinking to myself as I drove away..... "You, sir, are a genuine butt nugget."

[Jtas]

Cut & paste from the same topic over at SAU that I posted yonks ago.....always makes me laugh still...ahh memories

that thread on SAU is gold!

[fraz]

I was heading home from speedway one night about 2am. I crew for a mate and so usually end up in the clubrooms after to have a beer, steak sandwich, talk shit with all the other speedway munters etc

anyway, its a 1 hour drive to where i used to live out in the back blocks, so the roads are empty and i usually sat on around 100mph. I came round this blind corner at a serious speed and a copper went past the other way. I just caught a glimpse of his lights coming on as he dissapeared around the corner. I slammed on the brakes and did a u-turn and went the other way. As i came up to the corner, the copper went past the other way and i thought i was safe.

I kept driving and turned down a road about 1km later which loops back onto the main road about 5km past the corner. I was hammering it round the back road because its gravel and i know it well. I rounded the last corner sideways and slid up to the intersection,(still sideways) And there was the bloody cop sitting on his car waiting for me.

So picture me stopped parallel to the main road, stopped, this huge cloud of dust floating past and as it cleared, there was the cop right in my headlights.

He came up to me and his words were:
Not a bad time mate.
Me:ahhh...... what do you mean?
him:I saw you going the other way, and have been waiting here for you to come past. Any particular reason for your speed around hill road?
Me: i wasn't speeding. Look at this car, its old and pretty slow.
him: i have been sitting here for 5 minutes and have been able to hear you for at least 2 mintues and by the sounds of it you were giving it death.
Me: Na, i think i have a bit of a hole in the muffler so it sounds loud.

He
laughed and asked to see my licence. I figured i was fucked, but he just chuckled, handed it back to me and said:
 you might want to slow down a bit eh boy.
He got back in his car and drove off.



A week later my old man said he was talking to his mate at the pub. Turns out it was the cop and he new the car when my old man used to drive it. (he's a bandit like me )

Moral of the story: Move to south taranaki NZ

[nazstang]

cop pulls me over and i wasn't totally legal, so instead of giving me a break, he impounds my car. so i ask "so how are we supposed to get home?" 
he said "u can walk your no car ass home"
so i walk home, which was about 4 houses down!
and then my "no car ass" took out my cobra, and light them up! and then took out my other mustang, and do the same, and then took out my bike and wheelie right by him!
 that shut his mouth pretty good.  oh yeah, and i just saw him yesterday, and i think he remembered, because he hopped in his car and followed me for a good 10 minutes.  they can kiss my a*rse

[Jtas]

Isn't this thread for saying what the stupidest thing a police officer has ever said to you, not the stupidest things you have ever done in front of a police officer?

[Milford]

so you're saying that the cops reaction to your burnouts was 'damn, he sure showed me' and not 'i better pull that guy over and arrest him'

[Rake]

Who cares, the cop got owned

[timmy]

and then my "no car ass" take out my cobra, and light them up! and then take out my other mustang, and do the same, and then take out my bike and wheelie right by him!

i think hes being sarcastic... 

[nazstang]

no, really, i am close friends with the police captain, 2 sergeants, and a few cops. he was an absolute a*rsehole, who played it off like he was f*cking me over by impounding my winter beater like i gave a sh*t, the point was he thought he had the upper hand, but by law, he needs to stay with the impounded car, until the towing truck comes, and he couldn't do d*mn thing about me playing around! 
as Rake said, HE GOT OWNED!

[LoW GLi]

it was about midday on a wednesday, i was in my skool uniform, and i was in the middle of my hsc.... i also had all my books and shit sitting on the front seat...
Cop says "where are you going, shouldnt you b at skool?"
I said "no i just finished my exam 2 minutes ago, im on my way home"
Cop Says "Have you ben drinking?"
I said "no i jsut got out of the exam room" (but i had enough time to down a few beers and knock back a few shots of OP Rum!!)
So the cop breath tested me and then let me go....

[Mach One]

Stupidest thing a cop has said to me was "license and regestration, chicken Fu@ker"............................. ...........................

na ive never been pulled over.

[nazstang]

Stupidest thing a cop has said to me was "license and regestration, chicken Fu@ker"............................. ...........................

na ive never been pulled over.

hahaha!!! that's some funny shit!!

[91trex]

Back on my P's, driving home in Sale an dgot pulled over for no reason whatsoever, and they start going over the car.

Const: That T knob is illegal for an auto.
Me: Its a manual.
Const: Your exhaust is a bit on the loud side of legal.
Me: Just been tested 94dB, and handed over the test report.
Const: Cars is a bit low.
Me: Nup right on legal.
Const: You have an answer for everything?
Me: Yup, got defected last week all fixed yesterday.
Const: you know you are looking for trouble on you P's driving a modified vehicle.
Me: do you want to take that to the station as a statement.
Const: No....(checks my licence) get outta my sight.

No problems with the cops for the rest of my time at Sale.

[Browny_r31]

94db is legal now??? arg damn SA where its 89db

[91trex]

That was way back in '91, and yes I'm .......old, but not any wiser...mmmm alcamahol, brain cells an stuff.

[D3M0N]

PO:"Do you know why i've pulled u over?"
Me: "no"
PO: "you were speeding, it's a 60 zone and i just had to do 70 to catch up to you."
Me: "so we now know i was doing less than 70, right?"
PO: "yes"
Me: "any idea how much less? coz i though i was only doing 60"
PO thinks...
Me: "could it have been about 10kph less"
PO keeps thinking... then walks back to car...

[Tim-E]

PO:"Do you know why i've pulled u over?"
Me: "no"
PO: "you were speeding, it's a 60 zone and i just had to do 70 to catch up to you."
Me: "so we now know i was doing less than 70, right?"
PO: "yes"
Me: "any idea how much less? coz i though i was only doing 60"
PO thinks...
Me: "could it have been about 10kph less"
PO keeps thinking... then walks back to car...

hahahahaha thats the best so far in this thread i reckon. Beleivable too

[squid]

oh yeah i forgot, at schoolies last year i had a cop car come up to me when i was chopping wood in the front yard, there was a young cop and an older cop in the car. the young cop told me to put down the axe and come over to the car, and then said that i shouldn't be chopping wood in the front yard because people walking by might think i am murdering my friends with an axe. i was quite puzzled (i thought he would say it is dangerous because wood chips might hit people or something), so i complied and went around the back. the cop then tried to accuse my friend of stealing his car (it was his dad's hilux?), and then they left. i think they were just trying to come up with crappy excuses to intimidate us

[KatieSmurf]

"I'd like to send you to Pineapple Street for a full check on your car. Do you understand what I am telling you?"
"Uhm, yes. But I just came here to get subway."
"Well you should have made sure your tyres were legal before you left the house."
WTF? Yeh, I have a tyre fitters in my backyard that I can get them changed at 9pm on a thursday night when I leave the house Silly silly things. Aside from the fact that how are you supposed to get to a tyre place if you aren't allowed to leave the house with illegal tyres to get them changed?

A friend of mine got asked if she knew why she had been pulled over. She of course said no.
"Your number plates aren't shiny enough." Riiiiiight.

[bungs]

A friend of mine got asked if she knew why she had been pulled over. She of course said no.

random breath test is always the answer to that question

[KatieSmurf]

Well she was just leaving work amoungst all the hotted up cars, in her crappy falling apart pulsar. She honestly had no idea

[Rake]

Haha. Our cars are either too shiney or not shiney enough! We can never win

[ehh]

ehh after reading the posts in this thread i'm now even more convinced then ever that the laws in the southern states where by p platers have to have plates visibly display'd on there cars is simply to allow cops to pull them over and harass them when ever the hell they want for no other reason then the fact that they're a p plater, up here in queensland it seems p platers have very few problems with cops unless they're asking for it or drive cars that have benn very modified visualy, and that's because we don't have to have plates.

also i can't think of anything overly stupid a cops said to me, but i have seen a cop car driving around at 2:00am with absolutly no lights on!!

[Mach One]

its good in the NT coz i can flog up the road at any speed 150kph 200kph 260kph. and the 260kph has been done by a mate of mine. Kathrine to Darwin 315km in 1hr and 15mins. nice.

oh yea a cop puled me over coz my exhaust manifold was leaking from the head. sounds good. like a rally car. they pull me over yet you get c&Nts driving f$@ked up troopies and VP wagons that are trashed.

[thumbtack]

Stupidest thing a cop has said to me was "license and regestration, chicken Fu@ker"............................. ...........................

na ive never been pulled over.

hahahahahahaha thats the best movie ay

[bungs]

hahahahahahaha thats the best movie ay

meow that i've seen the movie, i can meow understand the jokes

[squid]

also i can't think of anything overly stupid a cops said to me, but i have seen a cop car driving around at 2:00am with absolutly no lights on!!

haha yeah a cop bike almost rear ended me in the commodore because i braked suddenly and couldn't see him because he had no lights on

[Jtas]

Me and a mate were out drinking last night (yes a Sunday )  ...........

I left my car at the yacht club car park, and at about 1am after a few drinks we started walking home (30min walk) But before we left the area I went to my car to check it was OK, my mate went to do a piss so I waited in my car (I sat in my front passenger seat) and listened to some music (not at all loud).....

anyway, this cop drove past and stopped for some reason, he came up to me and asked me what I was doing, I just said I was waiting for my mate to come back and then we were walking home (he could smell and tell I'd been drinking)

then he said "You know I could book you for drink driving and trespassing**"
**private car park, but I'm a member so I wasnt

trying not to be a smartass(it's hard when your drunk)  I just said that my car had been sitting there since about 9pm, and we had planned to leave it here and walk home.

(I showed him my license, so he knew I didn't live that far away)

so he said "how do I know your not lying, and that you haven't been driving around drunk"

I'd had enough, so I pulled out the smart asshat attitude..

then I said..  I haven't mastered the skill of driving a right hand drive car from the left hand front passenger seat yet, nor is my cooling system good enough to keep the engine stone cold (I said that he could check for warmth under the bonnet)

he said "you smart ass, I'm doing a roadworthy check on your car for that"

so he did, he couldn't find anything but he only checked the tyres and had a quick look under the (cold) bonnet... funnily enough I had brand new tyres fitted on friday arvo

-------------------

fair enough, he was just doing his job, and if I had been sitting in the drivers seat then I wouldn't of had a problem with it.    I'd never drink drive by the way.