Hottest burger? Anyone been there to try it?

[Colby]

So I got this email today... are these burgers actually that hot? or are these guys just pussies?  (there were pics of a big meathead rugby player looking guy with tears in his eyes)
 

Eating Out

Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU



Dear sweet a*se-raping Jesus i will make this report VERY quick because just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.

First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane.

 


Secondly, before it gets served to you you have to put on rubber gloves.

Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.

I swear to god i have never been in so much pain in my life. i was mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it turned out to be i was just going to open a can of "harden the f * ck up" and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...

4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch. Me, Thommo and our two better halves.

We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6 pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.

The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.

We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.

The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty motherf * cking things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.

Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our names on a plaque on the wall...

I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the burn, just push through the pain.

2 things happen immediately to my body.

1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava i am putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.

Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into my mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...

And this is the problem.

The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of "harden the f * ck up" when I notice that my mate Thommo has stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly up and down the street.
 

He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.

I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything i have just eaten at high speed.

not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot i pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point i really don't give a f * ck because i have just started to hallucinate.

No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat there i was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug experiences I have ever had (thats a BIG call). The closest thing I can liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.

Can i recommend this burger to anyone?

No f * cking way.

Should you go and try it anyway?

Absof * ckinglutely!





 
 

The Evil Burger


Mark crying like a little girl


Thommo wants his mum


Defeated



And about 2 days later...

it is now almost 48 hours later and i have just had my second shower for the morning.

second shower? why have 2?

because i am still shitting white hot torrents of molten steel and i need to cool down my puckered, torn and abraded sphincter before it decides to go all "china syndrome" and melt through the crust of the earth to the core.

i swear to god all i have eaten in the past couple of days since the "event" is stomach and anus friendly food like yoghurt, and ham and salad rolls and yet here i am at 6am on monday morning wondering why i have just been fisted by someone with a handful of broken glass and gravel?

the burger was evil. and it's evilness continues to taunt my bunghole.

shame on you for wanting to try this boobmeister. shame.

... and finally, a few days after that...

lol thanks for your concern f * cker

it lasted until tuesday night (i had the burger on saturday lunchtime) and i had my first *normal* crap on wednesday morning.

my mate i went who also tried the burger with came good on tuesday morning, but he admitted by "good" he meant he wasn't bleeding profusely from his anus and eyeballs at the same time.

that burger was all f * cked up.

now go try it.

 

[noss]

apparently they are pretty hot.. i'm trying to get some of my mates to go down there but they're soft.

one of my mates reckons if you go the hottest nandos sauce that there is (i've not tried it so i dont know what its like), then this burger is another step up from that.

[chr1S]

Err, can that shit be good for you?

[noss]

the sauce they use on these burgers is called 'mega death sauce' 

its not the hottest sauce the company makes though, there is one you need to sign a waiver form before you're allowed to purchase it.



edit: i've found someone to try it with me! haha.. i'll let you know how it goes in a few weeks.

[Jecks]

i eat hot food anyways... i recon my next trip to QLD will incorporate this little visit...

[noss]

you could just buy the sauce jecks.. check out some of the stuff they have..

http://www.deathsauce.com.au/products.html

they're in melbourne.

[Marty]

I bought that mega death sauce for a mate a couple of years ago, he reckons its the best stuff hes ever had, he is a massive chilli nut though.
I tryed a little bit and nearly cryed, its lethal

[Jecks]

you could just buy the sauce jecks.. check out some of the stuff they have..

http://www.deathsauce.com.au/products.html

they're in melbourne.

even better!!!

 

i'll let you guys know how it is...

[noss]

I bought that mega death sauce for a mate a couple of years ago, he reckons its the best stuff hes ever had, he is a massive chilli nut though.
I tryed a little bit and nearly cryed, its lethal

its only rated at 2 stars (ok so 2 chillis) hotness wise out of their range of sauces.. they go up to 4 stars 

[snailman]

please someone get the 4 star one and try and eat it straight from the bottle

[Marty]

isnt the mega one 5 stars?
http://www.deathsauce.com.au/megadeath.html

it was this one too, beacuse it came with that key ring skull thing

[SAIUN]

Wouldn't surprise me if some of that crazy exotic chilli shit they use has hallucinogenic properties. Like licking toads or something.

[snailman]

Wouldn't surprise me if some of that crazy exotic chilli shit they use has hallucinogenic properties. Like licking toads or something.

lol! licking toads is the new "in thing" haha

[noss]

isnt the mega one 5 stars?
http://www.deathsauce.com.au/megadeath.html

it was this one too, beacuse it came with that key ring skull thing

oh i must have been looking at the death sauce.. the names are all so similar, its easy to mix them up 

[Colby]

Jecks, you can get that death sauce from a place on high st Pharan (right near chapel st)  Mixy's or something i think its called.

You Qld ppl should do a cruise there.

[cruizer]

Group buy? 

[Jecks]

Jecks, you can get that death sauce from a place on high st Pharan (right near chapel st)  Mixy's or something i think its called.

You Qld ppl should do a cruise there.

and a place in mooarbin, which is closer 

[mozza]

because i am still shitting white hot torrents of molten steel and i need to cool down my puckered, torn and abraded sphincter before it decides to go all "china syndrome" and melt through the crust of the earth to the core.

i swear to god all i have eaten in the past couple of days since the "event" is stomach and anus friendly food like yoghurt, and ham and salad rolls and yet here i am at 6am on monday morning wondering why i have just been fisted by someone with a handful of broken glass and gravel?

ROFL
thats funny as.

[evlknvl]

m8 that's a f@*king awesome write-up. one of the most entertaining reads i've had in ages. you guys are f*@king nuts for even tryin it. can't handle anything hot.

[snailman]

m8 that's a f@*king awesome write-up. one of the most entertaining reads i've had in ages. you guys are f*@king nuts for even tryin it. can't handle anything hot.

im much the same until last christmas holidays went to hong kong and not being able to read any of the writing or communicate with the workers there chose a meal... it was some soup full of chilles and chille seeds i think it has wiped half of my taste buds out of action forever

[bogan_bob]

is that is brisbane? If so, im up there at the end of teh month, might check it out. but i dunno, i have been searching for decent chilli since getting back from mex, nothing is coming close

fortunately i bought some good ones back with me. One night some mates were around and one reasonably pissed mate slopped some on his bbq meat like dead horse, got half way through and fell off his chair and started licking the floor

[slim]

I have that Mega Death sauce

Bought it years ago for fathers day, some was used then used sparing since.

Damn it burns. Come over and have some marty

[SAIUN]

I have that Mega Death sauce

Bought it years ago for fathers day, some was used then used sparing since.

Damn it burns. Come over and have some marty

I'm asian, I can handle it.

[snailman]

haha hes asian, that makes him tough

[Gibbo]

I want one , but i live in new zealand god damn it !  and the burn is all part of the fun .lol

[evlknvl]

Sure you can get it sent over bro. Happy to help out if ya want one but im in Tassie (not sold here im think, thank god! LOL). I'm sure the company would send it if you contacted them as they do deliver australia wide and NZ is practically part of Aus too.

[cruizer]

Sure you can get it sent over bro. Happy to help out if ya want one but im in Tassie (not sold here im think, thank god! LOL). I'm sure the company would send it if you contacted them as they do deliver australia wide and NZ is practically part of Aus too.

That could be considered debatable 

[Gibbo]

yeah aye bud !

[evlknvl]

Was waiting for for it! LOL Some ppl forget their history (what about the ANZAC's ) I must be gettin old, shit.

[snailman]

Was waiting for for it! LOL Some ppl forget their history (what about the ANZAC's ) I must be gettin old, shit.

lol your truly showing your age evl

[chr1S]

The NZ women LOVE us aussie boys over there!

"are you from aussie?"
-yes.. australia...
"*creams pants*"

heheh, gibbo, u know its true!

[Gibbo]

Yes its sad but true and as for the ANZAC's that cause our army is crap , running with over sized BB guns . please

[snailman]

The NZ women LOVE us aussie boys over there!

"are you from aussie?"
-yes.. australia...
"*creams pants*"

heheh, gibbo, u know its true!

that was funny

[evlknvl]

"Yes its sad but true  and as for the ANZAC's that cause our army is crap , running with over sized BB guns " Not true, aussie's artilery/weapons were total shit but the determination of the ol' digger's themselves was legendary!! 

[rathies]

omg off topic

[snailman]

indeed.... so is anyone actually gunna buy this sauce they so havta make a youtube vid if they do

[slim]

indeed.... so is anyone actually gunna buy this sauce they so havta make a youtube vid if they do

I have that Mega Death sauce

I reckon our next WA cruise should be a BBQ and ill bring the sauce

[SAIUN]

I'm asian, so bring on the chilli. 

[snailman]

theres a vic cruise on the 14th of september i reckon they should try it then

[noss]

indeed.... so is anyone actually gunna buy this sauce they so havta make a youtube vid if they do

yeh i bought it, and i've organised a group of people to come have the burger.. its just timing, we've got a lot of stuff on lately.

[snailman]

awesome make sure you post the link

[noss]

well, my sauce arrived in the mail today.. i have one thing to say.. I HATE THE INTERNET! stupid internet making me buy sauce. i will have photo and maybe video updates later.. i told my gf to stop recording cause probably nothing exciting would happen, it was just quite hot.. but after she stopped recording it got worse, and i doubled over and got all light headed like i was gonna pass out.. holy freaken moly!

[slim]

All im gonna say is its good shit 

How much did you have of it noss?

[noss]

well, i thought i was applying it to the burger sparingly.. but probably about 1/4 tea spoon? i spread it over the burger so it thinned right out.. after i was choking and yelling in the bathroom my gf scraped all her sauce off, then got a paper towel and wiped it all off, and she still couldnt get through her entire burger it burnt so much.

she's currently curled up on the couch with a big drink of milk watching family guy.

[Unbalanced_]

wow! This shit sounds awesome.
Id like to try it.
Just a bite. I can guarantee i wouldnt be able to eat a whole burger but id still like a taste.

Maybe make a bit of a yiros and mix in a bit of the sauce with the meat. The use a yoghurt based sauce as your main dressing. Give you the spicy kick without killing you.

Good idea?

[SAIUN]

Maybe make a bit of a yiros and mix in a bit of the sauce with the meat. The use a yoghurt based sauce as your main dressing. Give you the spicy kick without killing you.

Good idea?

Throw in a tablespoon of concrete. 

[snailman]

haha you can make like a new tsatsiki sauce with it:p

[noss]

so um, there you go.. i cant imagine finishing the burger mentioned in the original story, cause this sauce isnt the only ingedient, there are chillis and jalapeños and other stuff on it too.. so i think i'll just watch my friends die when we go down to the shop and i'll have a sensible burger.

i cant connect my phone in linux so i'll think about copying the video off my phone tomorrow at work.. its basically me just going 'yeh its not bad.. its quite tasty.. then it kicks in, my gf says 'see i told you so' and then i start shoving lettuce in my mouth as fast as i can.. all i can say is that there is no way to escape the burn..

[slim]

i remember the taste its quite good actually, its just the after burn that will kill you.


I like how this says " on planet earth"
Are they workin on a even hotter sauce made from mars ?

[snailman]

woah nuts noss is that pic of u keeling over once the pain had started to come? hahaha

[noss]

woah nuts noss is that pic of u keeling over once the pain had started to come? hahaha

yeh my nose started running and i felt like i was gonna puke..

i remember the taste its quite good actually, its just the after burn that will kill you.

yeh, thats one of the first things i said.. 'it tastes quite good actually'.. i'll use it even more sparingly next time.

[slim]

You should add the sauce to your bottle of tomato sauce and watch everyone suffer

[evlknvl]

rofl! what a wicked idea! (i like ya already)might just have to order a jar, muhahahaha.

[slim]

I wish i was manager at that restaurant still
Hot sauce in all the sauce bottles, add it to the pie mix etc etc ...
It would so be worth it, althou i doubt i would get fired considering what else i did there.

[SAIUN]

Inspired by this thread, I decided to try some "Seven Gates Of Hell" chilli sauce I found in the fridge yesterday. It was weak. 

Bring on the death sauce. 

[slim]

Im tempted to have a BBQ just for you simon

[chr1S]

haha you can make like a new tsatsiki sauce with it:p

 

[SAIUN]

Im tempted to have a BBQ just for you simon

Put lots in my burger and it'll be tasty? 

EDIT: 

[slim]

Well know you just told everyone the plan thanks.
edit out the name would ya 

[evlknvl]

Edit the name out and everyone will be suss on the day, lol! Won't need to smoke anything as they'll be paranoid already!!! LMAO

[getaroundcar]

lol.. that's the funniest stuff i have read in a long time. i almost pissed myself, thank you noss.
SAIUN- i don't care if your asian or mexican, many people have stated they love hot chilli's and this sauce is way over the top in heat.
i love chilli i grow my own Scotch bonnet (brand of chilli) at work which has a Scoville Heat Units of about 200,000 (i'll put this into prospective tabasco sauce has a Scoville Heat Units of 2500)  now they are hot.
but when you get to over this amount the taste of chilli has no meaning.
i am very tempted to buy some for work. a least once a week i get one or two people who tell me the hotter the better. he he. this could be funny.

[pedro666]

that looks nuts...mama africa's zulu sauce is the hottest i have experienced ,habanero?? that was hot ,the death sauce looks insane. funny shit.

[noss]

i took it to work on friday, one of the boys was leaving and i wanted to put it on his lunch but i couldnt do it to him.. also my best mate that says he loves hot stuff and can handle anything.. we bought a bowl of chips, put a bit of sauce on the plate and we all got stuck in.. me knowing what it was like, i just got a slight tinge of colour on my chips and man oh man it was still freaken hot! my mate who loves chilli thought his chips were a sponge for death sauce.. he ate it all up and goes 'yeh, thats not bad.. its not overly hot though' as sweat was running down his neck lol..

another mate that was at the cafe with us picked up the bottle to show it to the owner of the cafe, but for whatever reason, the bottle had leaked and he got some on his finger.. you'd never guess what happened next.. a bug flew in his eye and guess what he swiped it with.. the hand that had the sauce on it! the poor bastard ran to the toilet to wash his eye out.. he comes back, eye swolen and red saying 'man, it felt like some motherfucker stabbed me in the eye with a knitting needle.. a motherfucking knitting needle' this went on for a while.. he calmed down after a while when the burn started to subside..

so we're sitting there talking and one of the girls puts a bit of the sauce on the rim of a beer bottle.. old mate that has just had the run in with his eye was talking to the other owner of the cafe and grabbed the sauce bottle to show him, then while talking, grabbed the tainted beer and took a big swig, he dribbled a bit and wiped his mouth.. and he felt the burn.. but he thought the sauce was on his hand again, he's sitting there going 'man.. this shit is hot, i only touched the bottle and man my mouth is burning now... ah fuck, its burning man.. ' and he grabs his beer for another long swig.. one of the other blokes fell off his chair in hysterics.. meanwhile old mate is still trying to cool his mouth down with the tainted beer.. he clued on when he was about 3/4 through the beer lol.. you should have seen his lips.. bright red like he's just gone down on someone with a good few days regrowth.

later on in the night we were heading to another pub and old mate stopped for some pizza.. without really thinking, he ordered mexican pizza.. when he sat down with his plate he saw a big slice of jalapeño on the pizza and looks at it and proclaims quite loudly 'is that a motherfucking jalapeño? a jalapeño? well motherfucker.. you got nothing tonight.. nothing i tell you!' and he pulls the jalapeño off the pizza, shoves it in his mouth and starts chewing vigorously letting us all know that (on friday night at least), after what he had been through, no jalapeño would stand in his way! lol

[Colby]

Oh man thats absolute classic.  Everyone watch your food/drinks around anyone that has posted on here!

[noss]

lol i just got this in an email from my mate mentioned above

The blurry patch in my Left eye is slowly starting to decrease and I may well be back to full sight capabilities within month's fingers crossed!! lol

and i got this one from the other guy that loves his hot food

if you don't want that chillies sauce give it to me it taste good cherp

can't wait to have that burger

 

[thumbtack]

lol cherp. and was the poor sucker aaron? lol i cant believe i missed this! hahahahaha

[noss]

lol cherp. and was the poor sucker aaron? lol i cant believe i missed this! hahahahaha

yep it was aaron lol.. so as you can imagine, it was not only hillarious but scary at the same time. andrew chickened out, but offered the owner of the cafe $50 if he'd eat a teaspoon of it.. the owner after telling us that there was no way that the sauce could be hotter than anything he has eaten before also chickened out 

[SSS]

Still going to get the "sensible" burger with an extra serving of beige? 

[JelloBello]

I think I saw an add for a segment on this for either TT or ACA, anyone else see it?

[BILL*69]

it was on tele here in SA last night. unfortunately i missed it 

[cruizer]

Yeh they were wearing gloves

[Jono]

I saw it a few days ago.

Going back to something that was mentioned on page 1, I reckon the 'hot' nando's sauce is actually hotter than the 'extra hot' sauce. More flavour in the 'extra hot' too.

I'm keen to try some mega death sauce, but my hot food tolerance has dropped lately, I haven't been eating much hot food since I moved shops at work. I was on first-name terms with the indian restaurant owner across the road when I was working at Springwood.

[cruizer]

Kind of on the topic but has anyone tried those new skittles? It has a chilli berry flavour and it gave me shock when I chucked a handfull in my mouth!!!