Author Topic: A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo  (Read 2413 times)

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Offline Pringles

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A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo
« on: Jan 11, 2005, 12:04AM »
A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo

1. Make sure you bring at least 3 cousin and 1 mates to the store Having large numbers of people with you will indicate to the salesperson that you mean business and have brought friends along with you to help carry the speakers back home on the bus.


2. Wear your trendiest Adidas or kappa tracksuit in case there are any chicks in the shop This goes without saying, there are bound to be a bunch of Marias purchasing the Mariah Carey back catalog and you can dazzle them with your style, they may even confuse the bundle of cash in your pocket for something else.


3. Make sure you have your mates ring you on your latest Nokia phone Let people know that your time is valuable and that you don't have time to waste, this can really help cut down negotiation time when clinching the deal, plus a fully mad ring tone always turns heads.


4. Find the most expensive stereo in the shop and ask for it for under $500 This will break the ice with the salesperson, and you will be the first person EVER to ask for this.


5. Offer the salesman a bribe

The salesman has been trained to expect this, it is part of the ancient history of trade with roots in the Phoenician markets. The size of the bribe you offer him is a direct indication of the level of respect you have for him, his ancestors and his profession. (If you offer more than $100 you're a stooge.)

6. Always ask..."You do less for cash bro?"

And it doesn't matter if you are a Rhodes Scholar... the question must be asked this way or it will have no effect. It has a subliminal effect on any experienced salesperson which immediately puts them on "WOG ALERT" after which they will offer you more of a discount than they are authorised to in the hope that you will leave the store quickly.


7. Ask the salesman if he knows your cousin Ahmed cause he told you that "this guy's gonna do you a full sick deal..." This shows the salesperson that you have been referred to his establishment by a prior customer, so give it a try even if you don't have a cousin called Ahmed, with any luck, Ahmed was a real ball breaker and the salesperson will once again fall into LEBBO ALERT and give you a discount and show you the way out.


8. When buying an amp make sure it goes to eleven!!

All serious hi fi enthusiasts know that 11 is louder than 10 and therefore better by 10%. Don't be fooled by amps that go to 12, these are cheap Taiwanese copies and are strictly for stooges.


9. Make sure that you buy at least 1 more sub than your mate Many state transport authorities are changing laws to require all sik car owners to display a sticker on the rear number plate indicating the number of sub woofers installed in the vehicle. There is some dispute as to whether the number should indicate the total number of installed speakers or the total installed inches of speaker diameter... a very controversial topic.


10. Make sure the stereo has a remote

At first most people think this is a gimmick, but it gives you the ability to stand outside the car at maccas and turn up the stereo so everyone situated within a 5 mile radius can hear it, and if the remote is powerful enough you can do it from a safe distance so as to avoid damage to your own eardrums.


11. If you intend to use your stereo in Brighton (Sydney) or Chapel St (Melbourne), you must own a Lancer / WRX / GTR or any chick pulling car.... nothing older than 1975 Cars manufactured prior to 1975 have a design flaw which means that the sustained vibrations delivered by a series of subwoofers attached to the chassis could lead to cracking of the engine mounts, nothing more embarrassing than having your entire engine hit the road while you and your 6 cousins are hanging out the window whistling at passers by


12. If the salesman doesn't give you a discount tell him he's a skippy [swearing filters own me]ter and you're gonna come back with 100 of your cousins to bash him This can be very effective, but only use it after you have exhausted all other negotiation tactics.


13. After you have installed the stereo, make sure you massively exaggerate the price Tell everyone you spent $10,000 .. Even if you only paid $2,000... but brag that you got $5,000 off cause you have such world-class bargaining skills. Remember to refer all your friends to the salesmen and get them to mention you by name. Then after a few months go back to the shop and walk up to him, if he doesn't immediately call for the cops, ask for a commission and leave with the comment "mate you would be nowhere if it wasn't for me."


14. Sorry, but no, Adidas do not make car stereos

Unfortunately Kappa and Adidas have yet to realise the potential of the in-car entertainment market, if you are interested in pointing this mistake out to the marketing and product development people at Adidas, email them at [email protected]



You now have a full sik stereo in your car... just 500 more dole checks and it's paid off.

Your standing in the community has just skyrocketed,.. your profile among the police community will without doubt also undergo a bit of a lift.
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Offline ReDtRx

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Re: A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo
« Reply #1 on: Jan 12, 2005, 09:18PM »
he he he nice 1s. 8) 8)

Offline KeGs

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Re: A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo
« Reply #2 on: Jan 13, 2005, 12:26AM »
A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo
11. If you intend to use your stereo in Brighton (Sydney) or Chapel St (Melbourne), you must own a Lancer / WRX / GTR or any chick pulling car.... nothing older than 1975 Cars manufactured prior to 1975 have a design flaw which means that the sustained vibrations delivered by a series of subwoofers attached to the chassis could lead to cracking of the engine mounts, nothing more embarrassing than having your entire engine hit the road while you and your 6 cousins are hanging out the window whistling at passers by


12. If the salesman doesn't give you a discount tell him he's a skippy [swearing filters own me]ter and you're gonna come back with 100 of your cousins to bash him This can be very effective, but only use it after you have exhausted all other negotiation tactics.


THOSE 2 are the best by far well done Pringles karma for you
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Offline Jtas

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Re: A Lebbo guide to buying a car stereo
« Reply #3 on: Jan 13, 2005, 09:15AM »
That was in a hot 4s mag a fair while ago and it was taken from woglife  ::)

Quote
4. Find the most expensive stereo in the shop and ask for it for under $500 This will break the ice with the salesperson, and you will be the first person EVER to ask for this.

I've done that, I was just joking around but I ended up getting a very good deal on my speakers :D