Author Topic: Funny junk  (Read 1658 times)

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Offline [JET-20T]

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Funny junk
« on: Mar 2, 2004, 10:19PM »
Probably done the rounds but maybe some haven't seen...personal faves highlighted


GOING FOR A McShit
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mcshit with
lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COATThe invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3
in the morning.

BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
cruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you
got there, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern Slang for 'beers. E. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

BRUCE LEE
Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

DRINK-LINK
A modern term for a cash point machine (ATM). Named so because it is common
to visit one before going out on the booze.

SSSSSSSSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITT TTTTTTTTTTTT
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

GREYHOUNDA very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in
a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars
that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of
training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the
outside, but there's actually fu*k-all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATHA bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa!Aa!Aa!'.

MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
after your 10th pot, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub
is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up,
whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
instead.

NELSON MANDELA
Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

PEARL HARBOURCold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out
there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO AR$E
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4
buttocks.

SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT
A homosexual.

SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman.

TART FUEL
Bottled Alcopops, e. g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

TITANIC
A lady who goes down first time out.

TODGER DODGER
A lesbian.

UP ON BLOCKS
Menstruating. I. e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I
don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

WALLACE AND GROMIT
Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

WYNONA RYDER
Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle
of tart fuel please Doreen"
traction kicked in yo!

Offline [JET-20T]

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Re: Funny junk
« Reply #1 on: Mar 2, 2004, 10:20PM »
i found em another site so i just copied them on ere... enjoy.. btw i havent read the whole list.. lol... just the first 4...
traction kicked in yo!

Offline Milford

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Re: Funny junk
« Reply #2 on: Mar 3, 2004, 04:01PM »
i found 'salad dodger' quite funny

Offline trxmad

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Re: Funny junk
« Reply #3 on: Mar 3, 2004, 08:59PM »
yeh i told my mum that one she loved it

Offline noss

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Re: Funny junk
« Reply #4 on: Mar 4, 2004, 10:11AM »
my beer compass wasnt working one night. took me ages to walk home, but after many circles i got there :P

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