Author Topic: Law enforcement  (Read 1996 times)

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89tipintara

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Law enforcement
« on: Aug 3, 2004, 01:58PM »
Some of you may find this amusing...I certainly did.

The Rabbit Strategy

The CIA, the FBI and the LA Police Dept. are each asked to prove their capability of apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit into a forest and tells each agency to catch it.

The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest. They question all plant and material witnesses. After three months of intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.
 
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest,
killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the rabbit had it coming, it insists.

The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours, with a badly beaten  bear. The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"  
 
John Howard hears about George Jnr's idea and decides to test Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into what's left of Stromlo Forest, near Canberra, ACT.
 
The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it gets a budget increase, it can recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit taxes and proceeds of crime.
 
The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces. "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence," they explain.
 
The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out their minds.

The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new Mercedes, scantily clad rabbits draped all over it.
 
The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably hangs itself when the attending officer "slipped out momentarily" for a cup of  tea.
 
The SA and NT police join forces and beat the crap out of every rabbit in the forest, except the white one. They know it is the black ones who cause all the trouble.

The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. Federal Agents examine the issue, particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority, high overtime, and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the matter should be returned to the referring authority for further analysis.
 
 
and ...



ASIO goes into the wrong forest.

Offline Jecks

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #1 on: Aug 3, 2004, 02:05PM »
ehehehe.... st00pid asio
(o_O) "uh oh... are they reading this??"
I'm sick of my knob going all floppy and loose in my hand  :P 
I've been on probation for 21 years, can't make a decision without consulting the wife first  ::)

89tipintara

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #2 on: Aug 3, 2004, 02:08PM »
ehehehe.... st00pid asio
(o_O) "uh oh... are they reading this??"

Yes...and you are now FUCKED!!! 

Offline thumbtack

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #3 on: Aug 3, 2004, 02:12PM »
muhahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!
The old USSR had a single time zone. They had a hammer and sickle in the ground near the Kremlin much like a sundial.
Arguments raged for years as to what to call the timezone
Moscow Time?
Comrade Time?
In the end they all agreed.
Hammer Time.

the thumbtack corporation tm is not responsible for any injuries incurred as a result of thumbtack. any resemblance to any stationery, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Browny_r31

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #4 on: Aug 3, 2004, 04:14PM »
Bahhahahaha the SA and NT one is soooooo funny. I Had to laugh and im in SA

Offline ruys

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #5 on: Aug 11, 2004, 12:27AM »
hahahahah. funny as hell. i loved all of it especially the LAPD one and the SA and NT one.

Offline Jtas

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #6 on: Aug 11, 2004, 06:34PM »
...and the tasmanian police didnt want to hurt the rabbit incase they risked offending the Greens.

Offline daymo

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Re: Law enforcement
« Reply #7 on: Aug 11, 2004, 08:28PM »
gotta love that law enforcement they have there own funny way of dealing with things