Author Topic: If the world were fair to blokes...  (Read 1025 times)

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Offline RichTRX

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If the world were fair to blokes...
« on: Aug 17, 2005, 10:32AM »
Copied from an email - I love it!

>>If the World was fair to Blokes...
>>
>>1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a
'Thanks
>>for the sex' would pretty much do it.
>>2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
>>3. Valentine's Day would be moved to 29th February so it would only
>>occur in leap years.
>>4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
>>5. The only show opposite 'Friday Night Football' would be 'Friday
Night
>>Football from a Different Camera Angle.'
>>6. Instead of 'beer-belly,' you'd get 'beer-biceps.'
>>7. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
>>8. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
>>9. When the Police pull you over, every smart-arse answer you
responded
>>with would actually reduce your fine.
>>      Example  - Cop: 'Do you knowhow fast you were going? '
>>                          You: 'All I know is, I was spilling my beer
all
>>over the place.'
>>                          Cop: 'Nice one, that's $20 off.'
>>10. Stubbies shorts would never go out of style again.
>>11. Every man would get four, real 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards per
>>year.
>>12. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
>>13. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game,
>>she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the
>>       ball goes out of play.
>>14. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable
>>response to 'I love you.'
>>15. The funniest guy in the office would get to be the CEO.
>>16. 'Sorry, but I got wasted last night,' would be an acceptable
excuse
>>for absence and/or poor time keeping.
>>17. Lifeguards could remove people from beaches for violating the
public
>>ugliness ordinance.
>>18. Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards.
>>19. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.
>>20. 'Fancy a shag' would be the only chat up line in existence and it
>>would work every time.
>>21. Everyone would drive at least 110kph and anyone driving under that
>>would be fined.
>>22. Lunch break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in
>>strippers and $2000 a night hookers for the duration of those breaks.
>>23. Saying 'Let's have a threesome. You, me and your sister' to your
>>wife/girlfriend would get the response, 'What a great idea!'
>>24. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
>>25. Everyone would have a real Light Sabre and any disagreements would
>>be settled by a fight to the death.
>>26. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to
>>the opposite sex.
>>27. Along with your milk in the morning, the milkman would deliver two
>>Swedish milk maids.
>>28. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd
get
>>to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus just like Fred Flintstone 29.
>>"Yes" would be an acceptable answer to a woman's question of "Does my
>>bum look big in this?
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Offline LoW GLi

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Re: If the world were fair to blokes...
« Reply #1 on: Aug 17, 2005, 07:33PM »
funny shit!!! they are all soooo very true, i like
13. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when theball goes out of play."


funny sstuff!!! :D :D ;D :P

Offline Waldo

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Re: If the world were fair to blokes...
« Reply #2 on: Aug 17, 2005, 08:42PM »
i think  No.9 is the best one lol... i think we need more rules like that!

.:waldo:.

Offline VladIvanovic

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Re: If the world were fair to blokes...
« Reply #3 on: Aug 18, 2005, 03:48AM »
i thinkĀ  No.9 is the best one lol... i think we need more rules like that!

.:waldo:.

hahaha i agree on that one too