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off topic => jokes and other humour => Topic started by: imaspy on Mar 25, 2004, 03:12PM

Title: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: imaspy on Mar 25, 2004, 03:12PM
More people are using computers to find that special someone. Here are some tips to help make your online-dating experience safe and fun:

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Under no circumstance should you give someone you meet online a lot of personal information. You could place yourself in the dangerous position of having a date who knows what a loser you are.

When considering the serious step of marriage, it's good form to seek the approval of the message-board moderator.

Online dating services provide an easy way for recently divorced singles to meet new and interesting people. It's too bad your ex-wife got to keep the computer.

When you write your online classified ad, be sure to make explicit the fact that a sense of humor is very important to you.

Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user-name like SocialRetard342, CuteFaceFatAss, or RohypnolLarry.

If you're having a hard time finding a decent, commitment-minded man through e-dating, why don't you try to e-shut the fuck up for once and stop your e-bitching.

Don't just tell women what they want to hear. Type it in all caps.

Remember, online dating is not for everyone?only the desperate and pathetic.

Dates like to know that they're appreciated. Go the extra mile and send that special someone an e-card or virtual flowers.

For best results, try whichever dating service happens to be advertised to the right or left of this chart.

If you decide to break up with your online mate, for God's sake, have the decency to do it over the phone.

If you're a man who prefers younger women, but you only seem to get responses from older women, take heart: Older women can give birth to younger women.

When getting together for the first time, arrange to meet online dates in an open, public place. That way, you can use binoculars to check them out from the car beforehand.

Don't worry. If you actually meet someone decent over the Internet, the two of you can tell people you met at a party.

theonion.com

:)
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Milford on Mar 25, 2004, 08:07PM
If you're a man who prefers younger women, but you only seem to get responses from older women, take heart: Older women can give birth to younger women.

thats sick
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: weasel on Mar 25, 2004, 10:57PM
i thought that was the funniest line in there
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Insu on Mar 26, 2004, 11:20AM
I've changed my signature in the name of one of those jokes, I love it, RohypnolLarry,  :D
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: evenflow_trx on Mar 26, 2004, 11:34AM
Quote
i thought that was the funniest line in there
hehe, same here m8.
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: RichTRX on Mar 26, 2004, 11:35AM
:D LMAO

oh god no that just reminded me...

in SA on late night TV they're now advertising "gaymatchmaker.com" grrrrrrrrrrr it's a disgusting ad for .... people  >:(
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: evenflow_trx on Mar 26, 2004, 11:37AM
that ad has been on here for months now, heh. Always see it after 12.
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: bungs on Mar 26, 2004, 11:44AM
yeah it's bad.

There's also that sms dating shit, @ $3.95 per sms. haha desperate fools
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Jtas on Mar 26, 2004, 12:57PM
in SA on late night TV they're now advertising "gaymatchmaker.com" grrrrrrrrrrr it's a disgusting ad for .... peopleĀ  >:(

that ad and others have been on down here for ages after 12, its because the ads get controlled by the tv stations in melbourne instead of the local ones, so we get other melbourne ads like car city, hifi supermarket and other gay crap, typical victoria :D :P
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: imaspy on Mar 26, 2004, 01:26PM
you love it ;) victoria is going to annex the state of tasmania in a hostile takeover. roll on the fourth reich 8)
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: noss on Mar 26, 2004, 01:36PM
but victoria already thinks that its in a completely different country to all the other states :P
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Jtas on Mar 26, 2004, 01:40PM
yeah cos your so up yourselves :P


please do not take me seriously, for i am tasmanian
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: imaspy on Mar 26, 2004, 01:43PM
hehehe tasrx is taking funny pills

victoria only thinks it is in another country because it feels like we're in another world when we go to certain other states ;)
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: noss on Mar 26, 2004, 01:47PM
yeh tell me about it.. everywhere in australia i have been is pretty much the same as anywhere else..









then i moved to melbourne. :o
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: imaspy on Mar 26, 2004, 01:53PM
melbourne is where it's at! 8)
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: noss on Mar 26, 2004, 02:03PM
yep. all the crazy shit i only thought happened in america happens here.
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Jtas on Mar 26, 2004, 02:10PM
out of all of the places ive been around australia i prefer tassie a fair bit more, for various reasons. ;D

so get fooked :P
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Ex@B@ybee on Mar 28, 2004, 02:23AM
When considering the serious step of marriage, it's good form to seek the approval of the message-board moderator.

ummm ryan can we have your blessing please lol..
from kylie and mike...
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: noss on Mar 28, 2004, 11:37AM
hahaha.. no. not yet anyway. you along with all the other tools here must do what i say like the sheep you are. i demand that you run around in circles while standing on your head. mike must have a bath everyday in rogaine to further increase his manly grizzly bear looks.

then you must beat tas.rx like a pinyata. if and when tas.rx explodes and lollies fall out, then you have my blessing.
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Ex@B@ybee on Mar 28, 2004, 12:18PM
gees your harsh lol..
baaa.. im ment to run around while standing on my head.. holy crap how do i do that..
or do you mean while running around on my hands.. hmmmmm
and mikes in the bath now.. getting grizzly..

*me runs off to find Tax.rx .... then ties him to a tree and beats the crap outta him... woo hoo his got fads and redskins and wiz fizz falling out everywhere..

JACKPOT BABY... :)
now may we have your blessing..
keep in mind if you dont give it ill be forced not to feed you at the reception and ill post pics of you all spiffy like in your suit.. ;) hehehe
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: noss on Mar 28, 2004, 12:21PM
hrmm.. ok then. you have my blessing :P
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Ex@B@ybee on Mar 28, 2004, 12:22PM
:) thanks boss..
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Jtas on Mar 29, 2004, 09:49AM
sorry i must tell the truth here, none of the above happened.  she tricked you into giving you her bleesing, so the whole marriage is going to be based on a lie :D
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Insu on Mar 29, 2004, 10:22AM
Thats alright, as Noss being the admin of the forum he has the legal right to have the marriage annuled. :)

Its geek law.
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Ex@B@ybee on Mar 29, 2004, 02:22PM
pfffttt.... come on guys dont you want to see noss all spiffy like??
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Jtas on Mar 29, 2004, 09:43PM
its not what i want its what noss wants, noss doesnt care what i want , he just uses me cos hes a tool

LOL JOKING :P

but are you really getting married?
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: noss on Mar 29, 2004, 10:15PM
well if she isnt getting married i wanna know who the hells wedding i'm going to on sunday
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Jtas on Mar 29, 2004, 10:50PM
lol,

congratulations, have a good day.
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Ex@B@ybee on Mar 31, 2004, 06:41PM
yup tis i who is getting married... i hope ive remembered everything..

thanks tasR.X.. if it doesnt rain it will be a good day .. :)
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: [JET-20T] on Mar 31, 2004, 11:45PM
oooo... hope u two are together until u get grey and old and enjoy ur lives together...
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Ex@B@ybee on Apr 2, 2004, 02:39PM
thanks Jet.. :)
im already old.. his just getting grey.. :P
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: nancy143 on Feb 6, 2009, 06:26PM
Hi this is Nancy now a days dating is common and this is useful to know the life partner is right or not or suitable or not. Now a days so many datings are available.Now a days marriage day s are so many up and downs. some people they leave happy but some people they do not spend their life without happy. so dating is useful that type of people.
===========
nancy143

Online Dating (http://www.talkingdating.com)
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: cruizer on Feb 6, 2009, 08:07PM
Do you mind? Really was that a necessary dig?
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Febrile on Feb 6, 2009, 08:54PM
<cough>bot<cough>
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: cruizer on Feb 6, 2009, 09:15PM
Wheres that ban stick?  ;D
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: SAIUN on Feb 6, 2009, 10:22PM
Omg. A/S/L Nancy?
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Marty on Feb 11, 2009, 06:06PM
Omg. A/S/L Nancy?

lol
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Vithy on Feb 11, 2009, 07:08PM
lol

second that lol
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Colby on Feb 12, 2009, 08:12AM
Damn. I told my mail order to stay away from the computer!
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Milford on Feb 12, 2009, 04:21PM
glad i got first post in this corpse of a thread
Title: Re: Online Dating Tips!
Post by: Hpoljs@43 on Dec 21, 2016, 06:53PM
Thanks for this tip for online dating. Last month, was searching for best Gay Dating App (http://www.grindr.com/download-grindr/) online and got to know about few sites providing these apps. Registered with couple of them and hope to find right partner soon.